Wanted to write something before going to bed. So let’s do a random post.
- I’ve gotten migraines the last two days in a row. That’s rare. I’ve been stressed and tired though, so I think that’s at play. Sick of it though.
- A couple weeks ago, someone with whom I’d had a falling out 10 years ago died. (No names.) We never patched things up, and I feel like I was right to walk away in that circumstance.
It was actually something that I wrote here on this blog that drove the wedge–something political, of course. I think there was probably more to it than that… At the time they threatened to tell my employer what I’d written (as though I was worried about someone seeing my publicly viewable blog) and said some very hurtful things on my Facebook wall for anybody who happened by to see, including telling me that I was going to hell, etc… I believe the last words they ever received from me were “Don’t contact me again. Ever.” Being that the trigger for it all was one sentence on my blog with no conversation about it, I just wrote them off as a lunatic and moved on.
So yeah, I feel like I was justified at that time to walk away. But it also sucks that those were the last words between us. They had cancer in the end, and apparently it was a painful fight from what I understand. I wouldn’t have wished that on them. I’m sorry it happened. I don’t think we were meant to patch things up and be friends again, but I hope that person didn’t carry any of that dispute with them in the end. When I’d think of them over the last 10 years, I’d hope that they knew they were wrong to act like that and maybe they’re acting better now. I still hope that part is true. I hope they died a good person with no grudges. I hope that somehow they know I didn’t hold on to mine. That they knew it made me sad when I would think of what happened–we’d been friends before. But I didn’t feel safe reaching out and prompting a new fight. So here we are. So it goes.
You can’t change what happened, but you can change what happens next. I hope they knew peace in their last days and that they know it now. I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye.
- Well that wasn’t very fun to write. Let’s write something fun.
- My brother had a birthday last week and I got him a retro Atari console with a bunch of games loaded on it. He set it up pretty much right away and we sat around playing some of the games we grew up playing and letting his kids play them too. That was a lot of fun. Space Invaders, KABOOM, Pitfall, Frogger, etc… I might need one of those for the house too. I like how far games have come, but those early Atari and NES games had a charm to them that you just don’t get with a high bitrate.
- That was better.
- I’ve been writing some music. Completing the pedalboard motivated me. Coming up with some interesting stuff, I think. I’ve got one ambient piece that features the Mel 9 pedal and also the Shimmer setting on the Oceans 11 pedal that seemed to come from somewhere outside of myself. It doesn’t have words yet. When I write something I think is pretty sometimes it’s hard to decide what it’s about.
- I have been thinking about making a small change to the board though… I mentioned in my post on it and on my podcast that I’m using a Line 6 MM4 modulation unit that might not last much longer, based on prior experiences with their effects. So I’m thinking of putting a different modulation unit there. Strymon makes a cool one called “Mobius” that has everything that I use on the Line 6 plus some cool, weird effects I’d like to play around with. But Strymon stuff is insanely expensive. Maybe if I come into some money or bump into it used. The Line 6 works for now. The Strymon is just a “wish list” item.
- I’m playing bass with the Michael Feldman Group at the Boschertown Bar (in Boschertown, I bet) on Saturday the 28th from 8-12 (midnight). Should be a fun one. Hoping I don’t have headaches every day leading up to it. Or during it. Etc. Should be fun. I’ll be singing a few, including Doucette’s “Mama Let Him Play” for the first time. It’ll be something.
I think that’s it. Going to bed now. Very tired.
- The Get Up Kids – Kicker (EP) – Enjoyed it a lot. Made me happy.
- …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead – I just put all their albums on “shuffle” and hit “next” when I didn’t want to hear one. This also might have contributed to the migraines.