I’ve wanted to write about the violence and bloodshed in the world for several days. I’ve wanted to talk about how I grieve with a people who’ve once again seen their innocents slaughtered by those who should be protecting them. How I think that even if the anger is justified, the murders based on badge alone are not justified. Those policemen should be mourned too. I’ve wanted to talk about how senseless driving a truck into a crowd seems–I can’t think of what point it proves. “We’re mad as hell and have licenses?” The world is a bad place this week.
…but that’s all the energy I have for it right now. It’s hard to find the motivation to say more when the words don’t seem to make a difference… So I’m going to answer a dumbass blog survey I found at this link. Let’s have some fun in the face of the insanity, huh?
- Who are your top three lady heroes?
Interesting one to try to answer as a guy. I’m not sure I’ve thought a lot about that. I’ve definitely known and read about some very heroic women though…so… This is going to be a little off-the-cuff… I’m going to say Alanis Morissette, as weird as that might sound. In the era of the boys’ club of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Metallica, et al, she put out “Jagged Little Pill” and it still holds up. Then maybe (actress) Maggie Smith because of how long she’s been turning in awesome, brave performances. And…I don’t know…as much as I’d have preferred it to be Bernie who got the nomination, I’ve respected Hillary Clinton for a long time, even when I haven’t agreed with her. I should probably have said Anne Frank or somebody like that, but I wanted to go outside the box and also name living people… I don’t like this answer, but off the top of my head, there you go.
- When you were little, what did you want to be?
I think a ninja. Probably a ninja.
- Who do you think should run for president in two years?
I don’t think that’s how it’s going to work. But, the hell with it, Bernie again.
- What’s the best book you’ve read so far this year? Ever?
This year, it’d be something from the Dennis Lehane books I’ve been reading. I liked “A Drink Before the War” a lot, but “Mystic River” actually really stuck with me too. All time is difficult… I point to “Catcher in the Rye” as being my favorite book pretty often, but I’m not sure it’s the **best** book I’ve ever read. “Best” and “favorite” are two different things. But I also can’t really think of what else it could be. Maybe “Angela’s Ashes?”
- What makes you feel afraid?
Spiders. And dying alone. In that order.
- Would you rather get lunch with Gillian Flynn or J.K. Rowling?
I really liked Harry Potter but I don’t know that Rowling and I would get along face-to-face from what I know of her… I know next to nothing about Flynn. So let’s go with her, because at least it’d be meeting someone new and maybe we’d hit it off and I’d end up as a background character in a book or something.
- What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory?
I don’t know, man… All of it? I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my childhood embarrassments. I farted in church once…let’s go with that.
- If you had the option of adopting a baby fox or baby koala, which one would you choose?
If I had the OPTION, I would adopt neither. Those are both animals not meant to be domesticated.
- What’s your dream job?
Sitting on my ass, but I’m still applauded and rich. But I’m just not sure how to get into the field.
- Who is your favorite mythological god/goddess?
Cthulhu, if he counts. If not, I don’t really have one.
- Who was your first crush?
I don’t want to put her name in print, in case she ever goes Googling. She knows who she is, and that’s fine. It didn’t work out, obviously.
- If you had to choose between using Internet Explorer forever, or permanently using an AOL e-mail address, which one would it be?
Explorer, no contest. I’ve never stopped using it (although it’s called “Edge” now in Windows 10). I like it. It’s familiar and it works fine.
- If you could either be a duck or an owl, which would you be?
Duck. Because I don’t really want to be up all night, and it seems like ducks have more friends than owls…ducks travel in flocks, while it seems like owls just sit alone in trees.
- What do you love about yourself most?
“Love” is a big word…but I think one of my better qualities is that I’m loyal.
- What don’t you like so much?
Short temper. (I assume we’re talking about what I don’t like so much about MYSELF, right? If not, then I don’t like Imo’s Pizza very much.)
- Rugrats or Doug?
I don’t think I’ve ever watched a full episode of either…although I probably find Rugrats more infuriating, as a general rule.
- Which house would you belong to in Game of Thrones? Like, very honestly.
Never seen it, never read it, don’t plan to do either. No idea how to answer.
- If you got a (new) tattoo, what would it be of?
It’d be The Who’s logo. I presently don’t have any tattoos, and The Who has meant a lot to me for decades.
- What would you like to eat for your last meal?
Something that takes a very long time to make.
- If you had to be on a reality TV show, which one would you choose?
I don’t know if I even know what reality shows are still on… One of the cooking ones, maybe? Because that seems the most harmless.
- Who has influenced you the most?
That is a very big question. I could probably list a few dozen names… A bunch of different family members and close friends. Maybe the odd celebrity or two. I don’t want to start listing people and risk leaving somebody out… I hope I’ve done okay letting people know what they’ve meant to me in-person, though.
- What are your favorite lyrics?
It changes almost daily. Let’s go with pretty much all of The Who’s “The Real Me” as a safe answer though.
- Real jeans or jeggings?
I’m going to go with the jeans, mostly for testicular reasons.
- On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?
Probably stay in and rent a movie.
- If you were forced to open a bakery, what would you name it?
Cakes n’ Shit
- What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done on a date?
I don’t know…just fail at it, mostly.
- What do you hope to achieve by 50?
That’s tough. I think I’d just like to know I’m doing something that’s either important, or at least that is fulfilling. Mostly I’d just like it if when my name comes up people say, “Yeah, he’s a pretty good guy.”
- What has been your best moment this year (so far)?
It’s been a weird year. I’m proud of the record I put out. I’m proud of the Rickenbacker I bought. I’m proud of the work achievements I’ve had. I have trouble thinking in “bests.” I’ve had a lot of stuff that’s gone well. That’s good enough.
- Would you rather be stuck in traffic for two hours, or have Chipotle run out of guacamole forever?
At present, the traffic thing. Once you’re stuck, who cares? Nothing you can do about it. A traffic jam is a temporary inconvenience. The guac thing, however, would be highly detrimental to several people I know.
- Why are you so amazing?
And that’s it for now…
- Michael Penn – Palms & Runes, Tarot & Tea
- Beach Boys – Pet Sounds