For those looking for an update on the new record (“Trigger Warnings and Sunshine”), it’s coming along and I’m still hoping you’ll see it in February. Just now it’s going to be late February.
I’ve been happy with the music mixes for some time, but I keep second guessing the vocal parts. I wrote some challenging stuff for myself vocally this time and I feel like some of it sounds like an obvious struggle. There’s one song that goes from Bowie-casual pacing in the intro to full on screaming by the coda. There’s one that has a key change that leans into the top-end of my range and another that goes down near the bottom. There’s one song that if I sing it in anything other than my most straightforward, pure voice, it sounds like I’m insincere. There’s another that calls for the kind of anger that can ONLY be read as sincerity and I have to almost get into character to do it. It’s an emotional journey of a record, vocally. After every session, I’m emotionally exhausted and when I hear it back and hear needed retakes, it seems impossible.
But it’ll get there. I’ve got more good takes than bad as of this weekend and I’m just doing patch-work. Problem is, I’ve got a minor sore throat (seems like my entire office has had a cold recently and I’m lucky it’s just a scratchy throat for me so far). As you might imagine, a sore throat makes singing difficult. Even when I can block out the raspy feeling, I can’t necessarily hit all the notes.
Plus, I think I’ve grown a little less confident as a singer. My brother and I have dialed WAY back on how often we rehearse anything, so I’m not singing every week at the moment. I don’t feel as polished and I’m VERY aware of that hearing myself in the headphones. (Even if it sounds fine, the paranoia is still there.)
So basically, I’m in the “doubting myself” stage that I’ve got to push through to finish the vocal tracks and send it out. Then it’s printing booklets, etc and getting it uploaded. Should be mid to late February. I just need to get over myself, is all. Happens on every record except for the last one, which I did so quickly I didn’t have time to doubt it. (And I recently listened to my “New Year’s Eve” record, which is pitchy as shit and it’s messing with my head. Should’ve doubted myself MORE on that one, if anything.)
One legitimate hiccup though is that my laptop screen died. It has flickered in and out for a couple of months, but usually the screen comes back on if I tap on it. Now that isn’t working, but I can access everything if I plug it into a monitor or TV. (Other than the screen, it works.) That sucks. Can’t afford both the new laptop AND the record release…so I’m plugged into an old Dell monitor for the forseeable future. Seems like I have a computer problem once per project, too.
So that’s where we are. I’ll feel fine about it in like a week and the order will be placed. I’ll let you know the release date soon. It’s going to be a good record. I’m very proud of a lot of the writing. I’m just trying to make my voice serve it correctly. It’ll be good and it’ll be soon.
Just gotta get through the trigger warnings to see the sunshine.
1. Still Bowie
2. Dream Theater – “The Astonishing”