Just to get the blog moving…

Sorry I haven’t blogged a lot lately. Is it sad that I’m disappointed in myself for not blogging more? Oh well…

Anyway…

As most of you know, I’m on tumblr. Every now and again people write meaningless surveys that they post on tumblr and you’re supposed to ask the people who post them to answer a certain number on the survey and some bullshit like that…and I don’t bother posting them because I assume no one would ask me anyway. But I ran across one somebody else posted tonight and decided that I’d post it on this blog and answer all of the (apparently 50–shit!) questions, just to get something new on the blog. So buckle in…this is bound to be awful for all of us.  I’m just going to write it and hit “publish.”  I’m not over-thinking it or editing after the fact (save for spell-check).  I haven’t read the questions in advance and I’m looking forward to seeing how quickly I get hostile.

Here’s the dumb-ass survey…

  1. What would you name your future daughter? I don’t care as long as it’s something normal and not one of the ridiculous fucking names people have nowadays.
  2. Do you miss anyone? Every time I shoot a gun.
  3. What if I told you that you were pretty? Always nice to hear.
  4. Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? No. It’s always been me.
  5. What are you looking forward to in the next week? The weekend. (That’s not a joke. I badly need the sleep.)
  6. Did you go out or stay in last night? I went out for a bit, but it was to church…and I’d imagine the type of person who writes these things for tumblr probably doesn’t count that as “going out.”
  7. How late did you stay up last night? Very late…like every night. I’m an insomniac, you jerk.
  8. Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? What underwear?
  9. What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? I was at work. It’s this place where people who don’t write tumblr surveys go that keeps their lights on.
  10. Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? Sure. I’m basically dead inside.
  11. Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Going to try.
  12. Have you pretended to like someone? Every day, frankly.
  13. Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? I think that would be unfair to the cigarettes…to light them then not smoke them…
  14. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Sure.
  15. Is it hard for you to get over someone? In what sense? Like I fell in love and want to kill myself, or physically? Because I’m not a very good climber…so either way, yes.
  16. Think back five months ago, were you single? Oh Christ…five months? Five!?! Were people even ALIVE then? That was so fucking long ago! Yes, I was single…and I’m now realizing the person who wrote this was a teenager who was typing these questions instead of doing Biology and will probably be pregnant before the end of the year THIS year because they’re worried about being single for five months.
  17. Have you ever cried from being so mad? So mad? SO mad? I’ll show you SO MAD!!! ***runs off crying***
  18. Hold hands with anyone this week? How is that a question? Or a complete thought? I’m going with “no,” but your grammar blows.
  19. Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? Hard to recall. It was over FIVE goddamn months ago.
  20. Who did you last see in person? Looking at Jeremy right now. He’s also on the couch.
  21. What is the last thing you said out lot? I’ll answer that when you proofread…
  22. Have you kissed three or more people in one night? Depends how you count it…but probably not in the way that a Biology-ignoring pregnant teenager means it, no.
  23. Have you ever been to Paris? That’s random. No.
  24. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Everything except the anger.
  25. Do you use chap stick? Nope.
  26. Who did you last share a bed with? I prefer to eat them alone, thank you.
  27. Are you listening to music right now? No, oddly.
  28. What is something you currently want right now? Currently right now? A dictionary so I can look up the definition of “redundant.”
  29. Were your last three kisses from the same person? Yeah, I think so.
  30. How is your heart lately? Physically or emotionally? Either way, I’m smoking again, so you do the math.
  31. Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? No.
  32. When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? Fairly recent…like in the last couple days, I’m sure. I’m on a hello-hug relationship with like most of St. Louis.
  33. What do people call you? Derek, mostly.
  34. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? Sure.
  35. Are there any stressful situations in your life? Aside from this survey thing? Yes.
  36. What are you listening to right now? Not music, as I already told you.
  37. What is wrong with you right now? What kind of fucking question is that? I’m a little pissed off at you…does that count?
  38. Love really is a beautiful thing huh? You suck.
  39. Do you make wishes at 11:11? Who the fuck does??? Is that a thing???
  40. What is on your wrists right now? What the fuck???
  41. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected? I feel like we’ve covered this…FIVE MONTHS!!!
  42. Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? Iron Maiden concert like 10 years ago.
  43. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Sure.
  44. Have you hugged someone within the last week? Already covered that as well. You know, you don’t HAVE to get to 50…it would’ve been cool to stop at like 32 and NOT make me want to kill myself…
  45. Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? Not in the getting pregnant in Biology class way, no.
  46. What were you doing at midnight last night? Reading comic books. Finally caught up on “The Unwritten.”
  47. Do you miss the way things were six months ago? I was going to mock you…but actually, yeah kinda.
  48. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Depends on the ratio and ownership of the farting.
  49. Have you ever been to New York? No, and I have no desire to go.
  50. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Probably at the time, anyway.

Well…that sucked. I’ll write something good this weekend, I promise.

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