Famous Last Words

Last week, I was trying to remember who said “Dying is easy, COMEDY is hard” as their last words. Just couldn’t call it to mind, so I Googled it. It was George Bernard Shaw. Got me wondering about other “famous last words,” so I proceeded to Google that. Here’s a list of some I found particularly either funny or interesting. All of these people are in one way or another famous, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you what some of them are famous FOR. I just liked their last words.

  • “Enough already.” – William Herrick
  • “Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do.” – Groucho Marx
  • “What is the time? Never mind, it’s not important.” – Janos Arony
  • “How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?” – P.T. Barnum
  • “Give me coffee, I’m going to write.” – Olavo Bilac
  • “Kurt Russell” – Walt Disney (And no one knows why, including Kurt Russell.)
  • “Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!” – W.C. Fields
  • “This sucks.” – Agnieszka Osiecka
  • “Leave me alone. I’m fine.” – Barry White
  • “Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.” – Francisco “Pancho” Villa
  • “Only you have ever understood me.  And you got it wrong.” – Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel
  • “Surprise me.” – Bob Hope (upon being asked by his wife where he would like to be buried.)
  • “Don’t worry, they usually don’t swim backwards.” – Steve Irwin
  • “Does nobody understand?” – James Joyce
  • “I can’t sleep” – J.M. Barrie
  • “I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.” – Humphrey Bogart
  • “If you don’t like it, you can fuck off!” – Keith Moon
  • “It wasn’t worth it.” – Louis B. Mayer
  • “Moose… Indian…” – Henry David Thoreau
  • “You sons of bitches, give my love to Mother!” – Francis “Two Guns” Crowley
  • “Thank God. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.” – Del Close
  • “Dammit… Don’t you DARE ask God to help me!” – Joan Crawford
  • “On the contrary!” – Henrik Ibsen (in response to a nurse saying he was a little better.)
  • “Now why did I do that?” – General William Ershine, as he stepped out of a window to his death.

Current Reading:

  • “All is Grace” by Brennan Manning
  • “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” by that lady that wrote the Harry Potter books. You know who I mean.
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