Yo’ Mama So Fat: Jesus Edition

We all know the concept of the “Yo’ Mama So Fat…” joke.  I’m not going to explain that.  But I will explain the Jesus part.

Recently a friend of mine posted on Facebook that he was looking at the Bible and considering things Jesus DIDN’T say.  (Things that we’ve somehow inferred, but that he doesn’t actually say.)  So I figured I’d have some fun with that and suggested things like, “You guys know what’s great? Indoor plumbing.” and “Wow! Electricity!”  Y’know…because I’m dead inside.  But then I wrote something that made me laugh and I’ve since shared with a few people.  I wrote “There’s also a shocking lack of “Yo’ Mama So Fat” jokes in the Sermon on the Mount.”  That captured my imagination, and it kinda grew from there.

So as proof that I’m going to Hell, here’s a list of “Yo’ Mama So Fat” jokes I wrote that Jesus could deliver, if it ever came to that.

  1. Yo’ mama so fat that in the beginning, God created the earth and the sky and yo’ mama.
  2. Yo’ mama so fat that Jonah’s scared of her.
  3. Yo’ mama so fat I ran out of loaves and fishes.
  4. Yo’ mama so fat that Moses didn’t part the Red Sea, he just had yo’ mama jump in.
  5. Yo’ mama so fat they didn’t roll away a stone, they rolled away yo’ mama.
  6. Yo’ mama so fat if she’d been on the Ark, they’d’ve had to add on 40 cubits.
  7. Yo’ mama so fat, blessed are the hungry, for they won’t look like yo’ mama.
  8. Yo’ mama so fat God couldn’t lift her.
  9. Yo’ mama so fat that Abraham’s descendents will be like the stars in the sky and the sun is yo’ mama.
  10. Yo’ mama so fat she’d take up all three crosses.
  11. Yo’ mama so fat that if Judas betrayed her, he’d have to ask for forty more pieces of silver.

As a side note, in a “Yo’ Mama So Fat” competition, Jesus has a major advantage.  His mother was, of course, the Virgin Mary.  And it’s just not cool to make fun of her.

Well…  Feel free to add your own in the comments.  See you in Hell, folks!