Ten Things I Haven’t Done (That I Have No Desire to Do)

I was talking to a couple of guys this week about the first item on the following list.  I said (proudly) that I had never done that thing.  It was no big deal, conversation moved on to other things…but it did start me thinking.  What stuff that people talk about as being a big deal have I just plain never done?  Then I took that one farther…  What stuff have I never done that I have absolutely no desire to do?  This is the list I came up with while bored and jotting things down on a post-it note–a convenient list of ten, only seven of which I grasped at straws to come up with.  Some of it is stuff I actively plan not to do.  Some of it is stuff I wouldn’t MIND doing, but I don’t feel like my life is incomplete without it.

You get it.  Why am I still writing about it?

I have never (and don’t really WANT to):

  1. Gone to a strip club.
    I find them demeaning.  Not to women…to men.
  2. Flown (in a plane, helicopter, or otherwise).
    Didn’t really want to fly prior to 9/11, and I certainly don’t want or respect the security hassle that exists NOW.
  3. Swam (swum?) in the ocean.
    Things might eat me.
  4. Heard anything with my left ear.
    I’m deaf in my left ear.  Not everyone knows that.  Have been since birth.  In fairness, I am aware that there is sound present in that ear if I’m wearing a pair of headphones or whatever…but I can not identify WHAT I’m hearing.
  5. Been to the top of the Arch.
    Lived in St. Louis for at least most of my life.  Never felt the urge to go up that thing.
  6. Been to a pro-football game.
    Specifically a Rams game.  Wouldn’t have really come up otherwise.  I’m not a football fan, and I don’t see the appeal in going to see a game I don’t really enjoy in the first place.  My dad is a PSL owner/season ticket holder for the Rams games.  It’s gotten to the point that he doesn’t even bother asking me if I want to go anymore.  I just don’t care.  At all.
  7. Seen all of Casablanca in one sitting.
    I’m pretty sure I’ve seen all of Casablanca, but not in the right order.  And at this point, does it really matter if I ever do?
  8. Been overseas.
    Goes hand in hand with the whole “never flown” thing…but for all you know I could’ve gone by boat.  (But I wouldn’t, because of the things in the ocean that might eat me.)  I really WOULD like to get to Europe some day–particularly the England/Ireland/Scotland cluster.  And maybe Germany.  Visit the whole family heritage…  But seriously…I’m pretty sure I’d be arrested for bitching about airport security long before we departed.
  9. Fired a gun.
    In fact, I purposely asked NOT to when I was a boy scout at camp.  As I’ve always said, I don’t own a gun because I’m afraid I’d use it…and also, I just don’t feel the need to have one.  It’s not some liberal “I don’t need to hide behind a gun” thing or whatever (though I do tend to agree with that mentality).  I just don’t want to be a guy who has a gun sitting around, acting like it will somehow matter that it’s there if anything goes down.  It won’t.  I’ll shoot myself in the foot and the robber will loot my corpse…  And I live near like a dozen grocery stores…no need to go hunting, either.
  10. Seen the Grand Canyon.
    I’m sure it’s a very impressive hole in the ground.  I know it’s a spiritual experience for some people, and I don’t mean to belittle that…  And I’d even go there, if it came up.  But I just get the sense that my reaction would be, “Yep.  Big hole in the ground.”  Now, if they can light that bastard up with a Laser-Floyd show or put some lava in it or something, maybe I’ll change my tune a little.

…and that’s just SOME of the stuff I haven’t done!


Current Listening:

  • Deer Tick – Divine Providence
  • Johnny Cash – American Series (all of it) on “shuffle”

5 thoughts on “Ten Things I Haven’t Done (That I Have No Desire to Do)”

  1. I wish I could say that I’ve never flown before. The first time I flew in a plane was less than 3 years ago and I’ve only flown 3 times since then. I loathe every step of the entire process and experience.

  2. I believe you Jim… mainly because I’ve also been once or twice, and found it to be completely not my jam at all. Also because you have an honest face. Really they’re just decidedly uncomfortable places to be, and if I’m going to pay $7 for a beer, there better also be (edible) nachos and/or burgers.

    Plus, did you know most strippers don’t look anything like the way they do in the movies? Letdown.

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