My Favorite Groucho Quotes

My friend Bruce asked his Facebook friends what our favorite Groucho Marx quotes are.  So here are mine, compiled from the Internet, mostly just so I can link to the page.  They’re not in any particular order.  Just figured this was the kind of thing that belonged on the blog.  I miss when things like this popped up on the blog every day.  🙂

With no further ado…  Groucho sez:

  • A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
  • I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
  • I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
  • I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
  • Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
  • One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
  • If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
  • I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
  • He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
  • Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
  • I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
  • I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
  • The only real laughter comes from despair.
  • And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
  • Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck’s terrible.)

There ya’ go.

And for those who’re wondering, the kitchen’s coming along fine, despite even more weird plumbing and gas-line problems caused by the house’s previous owner.  And maybe one or two by my dad too…but mostly the other guy.  🙂  Drywall comes down on Tuesday.  Appliances have been ordered.  We’re moving smoothly.  Which scares me, because something HAS to go wrong sooner or later, doesn’t it?  Hey ho…

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