The purpose of this post title is to specifically get the “I’m getting closer to my home…” part of Grand Funk’s “I’m Your Captain” stuck in your head. Come on…sing it with me! “I’m getting closer to my home…”

So anyone who’s been paying attention on the blog (and/or Facebook) lately probably knows that I’m a big fan of “Deadliest Catch.”  Well, a few of the Captains from that show (Sig Hansen and the Hillstrand Brothers) are doing a tour of theatres and whatnot in what I imagine started out as an attempt at a tax write-off that became a good idea.  They’re coming to St. Louis and I’ve got my ticket.  (I’m very excited!)  From what I hear, there’s a Q&A section to the show, where fans/audience members can ask questions of the guys and presumably get sworn at a lot.  (I bet every night there’s some jackass that asks, “So how do I get on the show? Durrrrr!”  And then, hopefully, the Captains mock him until he cries.)

I’ve been thinking about it for a few days, and I’ve realized that I have absolutely nothing to ask those guys.  I know everything I want to know about the show and how they do their jobs.  A lot of it is either self-explanatory or is explained in detail throughout the series.  The only thing I could possibly do is ask them something entirely unrelated to the show and/or fishing…or something semi-related that is completely stupid, pointless, and/or insulting.

So…  Following is a list of questions I could ask…but won’t.

  1. So Sig…  What do you think it would be like to have bananas for arms?
  2. If you could be half-man/half-fish, which way around would you have it, and why?
  3. Who’s your favorite Captain from the show…Kirk or Picard?
  4. Pepsi or Coke?
  5. A series of true-or-false questions…
  6. Heads or tails?  Call it in the air…
  7. So how big is a 30-foot wave?
  8. What’s your favorite Pink Floyd record?
  9. Is there any…y’know…particular…race or ethnicity that you hate?
  10. So a bunch of dudes living together on a boat.  Kinda gay, ain’t it?
  11. Ever seen Sid & Nancy?  Thoughts?
  12. What would you do for a Klondike Bar and why should I care?
  13. I’m going to the bar, can I get you guys anything?
  14. So didja have a good Easter?
  15. You guys wanna cut a record after we’re done here?

Seriously though…  I have enormous respect for what these guys do and I could never do it myself (largely because I have an almost paralyzing fear of large bodies of water—it’s actually kind of surprising that I watch the show, the fear is so bad).  I think that’s what’s tripping me up.  I like the show and those guys enough that I’ve kinda already done my research.  I’m sure I’ll be entertained by whatever they have to say that night…but I don’t think I have any questions I’ve been wanting to ask that I haven’t found answers to elsewhere.

Oh well…it’ll be fun anyway.  Suggest a question for me, if you’ve got one.

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