Last Time I Went to the Dentist…

I officially have a dentist’s appointment for 2:30 on Thursday.  Apart from being highly coincidental that the time synchs up with that old, racist joke about when Chinese guys go to the dentist (2:30/Tooth-Hurty), it will also be the first time I have been to the dentist in 18 years.  This will be the first time I’ve been to the dentist in my adult lifetime.

That means the last time I was at the dentist was in 1993.  Wow.

So, let’s jump in my good-old Hot Tub Time Machine and take a look back at what was going on in the world the last time I was in a dentist’s chair.  Settle in…this is going to be a long one.  (Thanks a bunch, Wikipedia!)

In my personal life:

  • I know this is a bummer to start out on…but my mom was still alive, which is kinda weird to think about.  In fact, I specifically remember that she was the one who took me to the dentist.
  • My band at the time (union jack) had our first gig.  In fact, the appointment was about a week prior to the show, if memory serves.
  • I turned 13.  Officially a teenager.

Major World/Political Events in 1993:

  • Czechoslovakia dissolved.
  • Bill Clinton becomes the President of the United States of America.  (Arguably the last one who was worth a damn, with no offense to Obama, who still has time to prove himself.)
  • The ATF raids the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, TX, eventually killing 76 people including children and the crazy religious nut that was regularly raping them.
  • The suspected World Trade Center bomber is captured.
  • Rodney King testifies against the police officers that beat the living shit out of him.
  • Janet Reno becomes the first female Attorney General.
  • A 7.5 earthquake hits Japan killing 385 people.
  • “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy is announced.
  • Windows NT 3.1 is released.
  • For the first time, the public is allowed inside Buckingham Palace.
  • An earthquake in India kills 10,000 people.
  • The European Union is established.
  • NAFTA is established.
  • Brady Bill signed into law.
  • The Mississippi and Missouri rivers both flood their asses off in the American Midwest.

Notable Deaths in 1993:

  • Dizzy Gillespie
  • Audrey Hepburn
  • Andre the Giant
  • Brandon Lee
  • Mick Ronson
  • Conway Twitty
  • Pat Nixon
  • GG Allin
  • Fred Gwynne
  • Don Drysdale
  • Raymond Burr
  • Vincent Price
  • Frank Zappa

Top Grossing Films of 1993:

  1. Jurassic Park
  2. Mrs. Doubtfire
  3. The Fugitive
  4. Schindler’s List (Let’s just take a second and dwell on the fact that Mrs. Doubtfire did better than Schindler’s List–which won Best Picture at the Academy Awards!)
  5. The Firm
  6. Indecent Proposal
  7. Cliffhanger
  8. Sleepless in Seattle
  9. Philadelphia 
  10. The Pelican Brief

Notable TV Events in 1993:

  • Cartoon Network begins broadcasting.
  • Michael Jackson performs at the Superbowl, becoming the first solo-act ever to do so.  He is later interviewed on Oprah.  And then it gets really, really creepy.
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show is broadcast on TV for the first time.  On the Fox Network (of course).
  • Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Christina Aguilera join the cast of The New Mickey Mouse Club.
  • CBS loses the rights to broadcast NFL football to Fox.
  • TV Debuts:
    • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
    • WWF Monday Night Raw
    • Beavis and Butthead
    • The Late Show with David Letterman
    • The X-Files
    • Boy Meets World
    • Late Night with Conan O’Brien
    • Frasier
  • Series Finales:
    • Cheers
    • Count Duckula
    • Doogie Howser
    • The Wonder Years
    • Designing Women
    • Late Night with David Letterman
    • Hee Haw

Notable Music Events in 1993:

  • The Elvis Presley stamp is issued.
  • Cream reunites for a special performance at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, back when it meant something.
  • Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” becomes the longest running #1 single ever, for some reason.
  • Prince changes his name to an unpronounceable symbol, confusing pretty much everyone.
  • Michael Jackson is accused of child molestation.
  • Rick Astley retires.  And thus, the Rick-Roll meme begins to loom.
  • Bands Formed:
    • Backstreet Boys
    • Ben Folds Five
    • Daft Punk
    • The Donnas
    • In Flames
    • Jimmy Eat World
    • Korn
    • Modest Mouse
    • Papa Roach
    • Superjoint Ritual
    • Trans-Siberian Orchestra
    • Wilco
    • Zeke
  • Bands Disbanded:
    • Celtic Frost
    • Echo & the Bunnymen
    • Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
    • Pixies
  • Significant Albums:
    • Denis Leary – No Cure for Cancer (Comedy record, but I’m counting it because it gave the world the “Asshole” song.)
    • Joey Lawrence – Joey Lawrence
    • Van Halen – Live: Right Here, Right Now
    • David Bowie – Black Tie, White Noise
    • Aerosmith – Get a Grip
    • Toby Keith – Toby Keith
    • Primus – Pork Soda
    • Shania Twain – Shania Twain
    • Aimee Mann – Whatever
    • Anthrax – Sound of White Noise
    • Collective Soul – Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid
    • U2 – Zooropa
    • Billy Joel – River of Dreams
    • Garth Brooks – In Pieces
    • Nirvana – In Utero
    • Iron Maiden – A Real Live One / A Real Dead One / Live at Donnington
    • Pearl Jam – Vs.
    • Rush – Counterparts
  • Hall of Fame Inductions:
    • The Animals
    • The Band
    • Duane Eddy
    • The Grateful Dead
    • Elton John
    • John Lennon
    • Bob Marley
    • Rod Stewart
  • Grammys:
    • Record of the Year – Eric Clapton for “Tears in Heaven”
    • Album of the Year (and, no…I don’t know what the difference is) – Eric Clapton for Unplugged
    • Song of the Year – Eric Clapton for “Tears in Heaven”
    • Best New Artist – Arrested Development
    • “Legend” Award – Michael Jackson

Misc Pop-Culture Events:

  • Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time becomes the longest running book on the bestseller list of The Sunday Times ever.
  • The first DOOM video game is released.
  • Harley Davidson Motorcycles turn 90 years old.
  • The Pentium microprocessor introduced by Intel.
  • IBM announces a $4.97 billion loss for 1992, the largest single-year corporate loss in United States history to date.

…and for the love of God let’s STOP!!!

So, that’s what was going on last time I went to the dentist.  Here’s hoping this year winds up being just as interesting!  (Let’s also hope I end up keeping at least a FEW of my teeth!)