Scary Crap You Can’t Do Anything About

The universe is a crazy-ass place.  There’s stuff going on out there that is so weird, even the editors of Cracked are like, “Woah…that’s weird.”  On Earth alone, we’ve got several natural mysteries that might just keep you awake at night…and weird stuff’s happening throughout the rest of space too.

For example…

  • Earth: The “Bloop” – I think I’ve mentioned it on the blog before, but I’m not sure.  The “Bloop” is a ridiculously loud sound that came from the South Pacific Ocean.  Its source is unknown, but most seem to agree on one thing…it’s alive.  Some insanely big (or at least insanely loud) animal produced a sound that is many times louder than the sound previously thought to be the loudest in the world–and that was made by the incredibly huge blue whale.  Here’s the extra freaky part.  The sound originated from approximately 50° S 100° W…which is less than 500 miles from the sunken (occasionally rising) city of R’lyeh, from HP Lovecraft lore—home of our good friend Cthulhu. Of course, it’s possible that this was just a tiny mollusk with a really powerful lung capacity…but I’d like to believe that the stars are aligning and the Elder Gods’ return is imminent.
  • Earth: They discovered purple frogs in India. – Seriously.  Purple ones.  That’s pretty weird.  On its own, that’s just kind of interesting, but micro-evolution can explain it away pretty easily.  However, when you take into consideration that other frogs are normally shades of green and some are kind of a greyish color, sometimes…that sounds kind of familiar.  Over the history of Marvel comics, the character of The Incredible Hulk has been depicted in shades of Green, Grey, and—you guessed it—purple (though, to be fair, that was more of a DC ripoff that was later sold to Marvel).  Now…we may just have a new color of frogs running around…or this could be the start of the coming, tiny-Hulk revolution.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
  • Earth: Disappearing Bees – This is really unsettling to me for some reason.  Scientists are documenting that the bee population is decreasing.  Really.  Google it.  It’s weird.  No one’s sure why.  Or should I say no one’s sure WHERE?!  Sure…maybe the bees just aren’t reproducing as much as they used to (thereby making it even more difficult to have a conversation about the birds and the bees with your kids).  But maybe the bees are gathering somewhere…or maybe they’re leaving for their home planet, readying their invasion fleets.  …or maybe we just screwed up the climate so much that there are less flowers to pollinate.  Anything’s possible…but any way you slice it, a VERY common animal disappearing for no clear reason is pretty startling, if you ask me.
  • Jupiter: Jupiter loses a band. – This is pretty recent.  Jupiter used to have two big, identifiable bands on it…now there’s only one.  Scientists have absolutely no idea why.  Personally, I’m guessing it has something to do with the bees…
  • The Universe Overall: The “Hum” – The universe is producing disembodied tones.  (String Theory fans LOVE this, from what I hear.)  It’s probably been happening forever…but its only recently been discovered.  Don’t listen for it…most of the tones are too high or too low to be heard by human ears…but many celestial bodies appear to have their own individual tones (as do several specific natural areas on Earth itself).  If memory serves, the lowest on record is a super-low Bb…which a real pain-in-the-ass key to play in on the guitar.  So thanks a lot for THAT, universe!
  • The Moon: “I’m Outta Here!” – The Moon is drifting away from the Earth.  Every year, it gets about 3.8 cm farther away.  That’s bad news for surfers…and some are speculating that it may go some way in explaining the perceived increased earthquake activity on Earth in the past few years.  If you ask me, though…it’s just tired of mad scientists always trying to blow it up (presumably to find water in it…which is another insanely true thing that’s been going on lately…).
  • Space: Cold Metal on Metal Action – This is an oldie, but a goody.  Did you know that if you touch two untreated pieces of metal to one another out in space, they permanently weld together, with absolutely no heat added?  they call it cold-welding.  You don’t need to do anything extra-special to the metal…it just happens.  Most metals we produce on Earth won’t work, because there are coatings, treatments, etc that are added on just as a matter of how we process metal these days…but if you got two RAW pieces of metal, you could go out into space and weld them together with your bare hands…or at least your hands protected by your spacesuit, since they don’t recommend going out into deep space in your socks and underwear…  But good luck getting up there, anyway.  You’ll need a really big ladder.

…and that’s just stuff I’ve been saving in my “weird facts” file on my computer for a little while.  Thought I’d share.


Current Listening:

  • Assorted Drive-By Truckers…mostly because there’s a Patterson in the family now.  BTW – Gonna go meet the twins tomorrow, I think…so apologies in advance for posting pictures and insisting they’re cute.  I’m sure they ARE cute…but I apologize for insisting it.