For those unfamiliar with the concept of a “Murtaugh List,” it’s something that was created by the (awesome) TV show “How I Met Your Mother.” It’s similar to the “Things to Do Before You’re 30” or the “Bucket” list…but with a twist. In the “Lethal Weapon” movies, Danny Glover’s character was called Murtaugh. He had a recurring phrase that he used throughout the movies. Something dramatic and cop-like would happen and he’d says he was “getting too old for this shit.” So…the Murtaugh List is a list of shit you’re getting too old to do anymore. Much like the “Bucket List” it seems that people getting into their 30s are the ones who are making these lists…and even though I’m a couple of weeks early, here’s the start of mine. This can be added to, revised, or completely eliminated, as necessary. 🙂
I’m too old for THIS shit:
- Going to a bar and “doing shots.” (Yes that includes Jager. No it doesn’t include getting a whiskey on the rocks and nursing it.)
- Going to raves.
- I can’t stay in a bar until closing time, then say, “Who wants to go to the boat?”
- Not that I have a reason to do it anymore, since I’ve been out of college for a few years…but no more “all-nighters.”
- Pizza after midnight. (The garlic makes for a bad night’s sleep.)
- Pressuring my friends to help me move. (If you’re in your 30s and can’t afford to HIRE movers, kill yourself.)
- Picket something. (Regardless of age, that’s just for hippies and idiots…no picketing has ever changed anything anyway. And yes, I’m including striking unions in that.)
- Stand outside waiting for a record store to open to pick up a new release.
- See anything of the ‘Twilight’ or ‘Potter’ genre in the theatre. (This one may be revised, should I ever have children or accompany any nieces or nephews to such movies.)
- Wear those shorts that are almost pants…or pants that are almost shorts…whatever…
- Skateboards. (With apologies to Tony Hawk and Jason Lee.)
- Buy any new gaming system. (However, it is still acceptable for me to play an occasional game online, via CD-Rom, or in a bar if they’ve got some kind of arcade game in there.)
- Hang out anywhere NEAR a schoolyard. (It’s just creepy…)
…and I’m sure there’ll be more later…or possibly less. I might end up at a casino at 3 am some night and regret #3.