My Bucket List

The concept of a “bucket list” is that it’s a list of things you want to do/accomplish before you die.  Most people make one in their 30s…and since, as previously noted, that’s coming up soon, I figured I’d get a jump on it.  (And you thought I was kidding last time!)  Seems like most people online do a list of 100 things…I’m not sure I’ll get that far, because typically, if I want to do something, I DO it…so we’ll see how far this goes.  I’ve decided to ignore things like “get married/have kids” because it’s cliché and also not necessarily a major thing for me.  (It’d be great if that happens…but I’m not too worried about it.)  For the most part, this will be wholly superficial and not too deep—as it SHOULD be.  (And most of it seems to involve me buying things, upon review…)

This is draft #1…off the top of my head, as I’m typing it into the blog post.

Let’s rock…

  1. Buy a bucket.
  2. Meet a sitting President (preferably one I voted for…Obama would be great).
  3. Go to Ireland either on vacation or permanently, depending on if they can get me back on the plane.
  4. Eat Kobe Beef.
  5. Release a record on an actual label.  Doesn’t have to be really successful.  Don’t necessarily want to write the new “Sgt. Pepper” and be a slave to the Warner Bros…  Doesn’t even have to be stuff I wrote…  Just wanna be on something global.
  6. Own at least one guitar that retails for over $3000…preferrably without paying that much.
  7. Learn to play the piano.  (I can passably peck out a tune and do some light chording…but I can’t read the music and play the notes…and I don’t necessarily know what I’m doing most of the time…)
  8. Write a book.  Preferably fiction.
  9. Single-handedly bring down the “e-book” industry and expose it for the scam that it is.
  10. Own at least one bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label.  (It’s the most expensive one. Possibly the most expensive and arguably finest blended scotch on the market.)
  11. Tell off Rush Limbaugh to his face.  (Note to future-self, bring megaphone to ensure he’ll hear you…)
  12. Own a really nice pocket-watch.
  13. Have a guitar specially made just for me.  If it costs over $3000, that’s two birds with one stone.
  14. Own every Frank Zappa record—on vinyl.
  15. Get a Masters Degree in something…unfortnately may have to go back to community college in order to get an undergrad degree from an ACCREDITED college first…sigh…  (Note to past-self, in case future-me finds a hot-tub time machine…  Listen to your father on that one.  Your Bible College degree got you some nice friends…but you aren’t going to end up working in that field…you’re in insurance now.  I know.  I was surprised, too…but it’s okay.  You like it.  Also, don’t vote for Nader.  You really regret that when Bush wins.)
  16. Find a hot-tub time machine.  Address past self and also take Paul up on his suggestion of going to see the last RAMONES gig.  Lousy, stupid, past-me…
  17. Paint something and sell it.  Doesn’t have to be for millions.  Like $20 would be nice.
  18. Get teeth fixed.  Or just removed completely.
  19. Track down a print of that movie where Jerry Lewis dresses up as a clown during the Holocaust and leads the kids into the gas-chamber.  (Seriously.  That’s real.  Google it.)
  20. Get name in the paper for doing something good.  Not for dying or killing someone or robbing someone or anything like that…  Maybe for eating the world’s biggest hot dog or something…
  21. Get back down to my “college weight.”  preferably without losing any limbs or getting wicked-sick.
  22. See the Grand Canyon—even though I’m kind of afraid of heights.
  23. See Niagara Falls—even though I’m terrified of large bodies of water.
  24. Visit every state considered to be part of “Dixie.”
  25. Own an original Warhol.
  26. Get some stocks or bonds or some such crap that doesn’t seem to be helping anybody out these days.
  27. Own a Hiwatt amplifier (and not one of those horrible 10-watt, $45 ones).
  28. Buy a kilt.
  29. There’s a very long list of celebrities I’d like to meet, but some of them might die soon…so we’ll just pretend they’re all listed here, so this list isn’t a big bummer in a couple of years.
  30. Visit Canada.  Seems like they’d be nice.  Try to see the Northern Lights, while I’m at it.
  31. Make six-figures.  It’s going to be necessary if I plan on doing ALL of this…
  32. Finish this list….

…that’s as far as I got in a sitting.  Additional suggestions welcomed.


Quick Movie Review:

  • Finally saw that “Benjamin Button” thing.  Two things bugged me…  (1) I liked Brad Pitt better as an old man than I did as Brad Pitt at the correct age.  (2) If he’s aging backwards and is writing this thing toward the end of his life…why is it the old-man-voice that’s narrating it?  Shouldn’t it be a young man’s voice?  Or possibly a child’s?  Otherwise, excellent movie and I really enjoyed it.  Those were the only two things that took me out of the movie…and that’s not major, especially considering the huge amount of special effects in the movie—none of which jumped out screaming “I’M AN EFFECT!!!  AREN’T I NEAT?!?” at me.  So that’s pretty good.  I give it a B+ or possible A- overall.