Down to One

The world lost one of the “Two Coreys” today (technically yesterday…but I haven’t been to bed yet), as Corey Haim died from causes that have yet to be released.  (A lot of people, of course, assume it’s drugs, despite the LAPD clearly stating that they found no illicit drugs at the scene.)

 

Mr. Haim’s death is a sad one…but it’s brought out some fascinating truisms about a lot of us.  The chief truism is that most of us still have absolutely no idea which Corey is which.  In my daily Facebookery, I found dozens of posts mourning “one of the Goonies.”  Nope.  That was Corey Feldman.  I read an online blog where someone referenced his “terrible band, The Truth Movement.”  Again…that was Corey Feldman.  I read a blog where a girl posted a VERY moving writeup of what Corey FELDMAN’S movies had meant to her in high school.  I even saw a couple of people posting PICTURES of the wrong Corey.  Which I guess just means that Feldman was more famous at Haim’s time of death…so good for him…but bummer to be Corey Haim on that one.

 

Let me give you a hand.  I’ve seen a bunch of movies in my day, and I may be able to clarify which Corey was which, based on their IMDB pages and which movies I’ve seen.

 

Movies from (still living) Corey FELDMAN’S IMDB page that I’ve seen:

  • The Bad News Bears (TV Show)
  • Fox and the Hound (Voice of Young Copper)
  • Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (which, incidentally, it wasn’t)
  • Gremlins
  • Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (which, incidentally, it wasn’t)
  • The Goonies
  • Stand By Me
  • The Lost Boys
  • License to Drive
  • The Burbs
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Voice of Donatello)
  • Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever
  • National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III
  • Maverick

 

Movies from (the deceased) Corey HAIM’S IMDB page that I’ve seen:

  • The Lost Boys
  • License to Drive
  • Watchers (which I’m only kind of sure I’ve seen)

 

Which may explain why so many people are confused about which Corey was which.  I’ve only seen three Haim movies, and two of them had Feldman in them…  Guess I wasn’t that big of a fan.  Sorry about that, Corey.

 

Here’s the other thing I find interesting.  (I think I used the word “truism” above…but I’m switching to “interesting.”  “Truism” sounds a little pretentious.)

 

Corey Feldman released a fairly classy statement about Haim’s death, as you’d expect.  Message boards and online “journalists” immediately criticized his emotions.  I read comments from MANY who pointed out that the two were not very close at the time of Haim’s death, thanks to Feldman making the decision to have no further contact with Haim until/unless he could get sober.  Many people criticized that, saying things like “that probably pushed him over the edge” or “that’s not how you treat a friend” blahblahblah…  To those people I say only the following, from the heart.

 

Get down on your hands and knees and thank CHRIST for every day of your life that you haven’t had to make that decision.

 

I feel tremendous sympathy for Corey Feldman who lost a friend on Wednesday morning.  I am sure it was made so much worse for him knowing the distance between them and the decisions that they BOTH made in the past couple of years that put the wedge between them.  (After all, even if you think Feldman’s “ultimatum” was harsh, Haim could have chosen to stop using and keep a friend…)  I feel great sadness for Corey Haim’s family at their loss as well, knowing that—though toxicology reports are pending—it was likely entirely preventable.

 

And I feel great sadness for myself for never having sought out Corey Haim’s movie “Prayer of the Rollerboys.”  That sounds like an hour and a half of great unintentional laughs.

 

Rest in Peace, Corey Haim.  Sorry I and aparently most of the Internet didn’t know more about you.

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In other news…I know most of you welcome the oncome of Spring, but I’m already finding it too hot to sleep.  So enjoy your sunshine and picnics…but know that it is tempered by my bitching.