See If You Can Spot What’s Missing

This POST is missing!  🙂


I deleted it because the stuff that was here was attracting some undesirable spam, based on some of the words used in the post…and that’s the ONLY reason I removed it.  I’m just tired of deleting things every day.  Just leaving this page here as a placeholder to keep my post-count consistent.  I’m also deleting the comments for this post, since they don’t make any sense without it…so…yeah…

I Had That Dream Again…

I’ve had a recurring dream ever since my mother died in 1994.  I don’t know if it’s able to be classified as a “nightmare,” but it does creep me out every time it happens, and it happened again last night.


The basic concept is that, in my dream, I could be doing anything.  I might be at work or hanging around the house…just regular stuff you might do anytime, and I’m always my present age (whatever that may be at the time).  These dreams never come in the form that I dream that I’m 14 or whatever.  Like last night, I was 28 and had all of my life experiences up to this point…and that’s where it gets creepy. 


No matter what I’m doing in the dream, at some point, my mom will show up.  It’s not that she resurrects from the dead or shows up as a ghost or anything.  She’s just THERE.  (No idea what age she is in this weird dream-world, by the way…)  The really weird thing is that I’m the only one who knows it’s wrong.  Doesn’t matter who else is in the dream.  Could even be my dad, brother, and (maternal) grandmother…I’m the ONLY one who knows she’s not supposed to be alive.


I rarely have any confrontation to that effect in the dream.  I don’t go around telling people that she should be dead or ask her about it or anything.  I just KNOW it.  The closest I remember getting to addressing the issue in the dream is that I know that if I start telling people she’s supposed to be dead, they’ll think I’ve lost my mind, so I keep my mouth shut.  Otherwise, I don’t ever remember having a definitive END to this dream…I just end up waking up, usually pretty freaked out and unable to get back to sleep.


Now…I don’t know what psychologists would make of that dream.  Unresolved issues?  Probably.  I do know that we fought over something really stupid on the day she died and we were barely speaking to one another when she went to bed.  But I thought I’d dealt with that.  I have no other possible explanation for why I keep having this dream, or why it disturbs me so much.  (Maybe there’s a correlation to the fact that I’ve been reading a lot of Lovecraft this week?)


…anyway I just thought I’d share that.  Maybe if I start talking about it, it’ll go away.

Update on an Old Story

If you’ve been following my blog for a couple of years, you may remember that some time ago I was concerned about some odd phone calls to my cell phone.  At the time, some lady was calling me a LOT looking for some guy called “Gary” and not believing that she had a wrong number.  Apparently she hadn’t seen him for a couple of days and was trying to figure out what happened to him…


I don’t know what happened to Gary then, but I at least know he’s alive now.  She’s called me twice this week, again looking for him.  (I remember her voice, and it’s from the same 573 area code.)  Figured out what the problem is…he has my same phone number, but in the 573 area code, as opposed to mine in the 314 area code.  She just needs to dial the area code first…but unfortunately, she seems to keep forgetting that.


So…Verizon Wireless…please stop assigning the same phone number to multiple customers.  You’re making stupid, stupid things happen…but on the other hand, at least now I know the end to that story…and so do you!


So…thanks for reading for two years waiting on that “to be continued” cliffhanger, I guess!


Current Reading:

  • A bunch of random short stories by H. P. Lovecraft.  Spooooooky!!! (*wiggly finger-gesture-thing*)

The Three Heads…

As you may know (and if you do, I encourage you to diversify your time by reading other blogs) I am in three musical projects.  Just to clarify the projects, I thought I’d do a small write-up for my blog…also, I’m bored and can’t think of anything else to write.


Project #1 – Derek Brink

I do a lot of solo work.  Two records are currently available.  One is about to be released, once I have the money.  I do a ton of writing and every once in a while, I have enough stuff that I think is good enough to warrant a record.  That’s how my solo work is born.  However, I’ve made the pledge that my solo work will soon largely cease as I focus on writing and performing with Blue Tattoo.  That doesn’t mean I won’t do anything as a solo artist.  I’ll still do one-off gigs (which, actually, is pretty much how I’ve run my solo act so far).  I’ll still write stuff that I think of as “mine.”  I may even still record here and there…but I won’t be FOCUSING on it.  More than likely, my solo stuff will be released as web-downloads for the foreseeable future, after the third record is out and I’ve done a couple of gigs to whore it out.


I should say, though, that I really like working as a solo artist, because it gives me license to do pretty much anything.  I can be as weird as I want and people kind of say, “Meh…it’s a solo record.  That’s fine.”  🙂


Project #2 – Blue Tattoo

This is where I’m focusing most of my attention.  If you’ve been following the blog, you’ve recently read a LOT about our first gig.  Hopefully there’ll be a second one soon.  Hopefully, we’ll also be doing some more recording soon.  A full-length-record this year is, I think, plausible.  T-shirts?  Why not!


I love this band.  I’m more proud of this band than of ANYTHING else I’ve EVER done.  I want it to succeed (which doesn’t mean world-tours, international stardom, etc…it means whatever it means, and I’ll know it when it happens).  I want this to be as good as I think it is and deserves to be.  I also really dig working with other people involved in the creative process.  In my solo gig, I have final edit and whereas others can suggest things, what I say goes.  In Blue Tattoo, if I’m out-voted, I lose.  Sometimes that pisses me off…but a lot of the time, I end up really liking it and the decision was the right one.


You only get one favorite project in life…and I’m pretty sure this is mine.


Project #3 – The Michael Feldman Group

This isn’t my project, obviously, since it’s named after some other guy.  I play bass for Mike, and I have for like 6-7 years in various incarnations of his band.  It’s fun most of the time, but sometimes gets a little wearing.  If I’m honest, this is exactly the type of band I never thought I’d be a part of.  It’s a cover-band, playing in mostly crappy bars for money.  (I refer to those gigs as “Play Me, Pay Me” gigs.  It’s pretty much only about the money most of the time.)  I get a kick out of it…but it’s not really anything I put a ton of though or effort into.  Worth seeing…but I doubt we’ll ever have t-shirts for sale or anything like that.


Hope that clears things up for anyone who was confused.  When blogging in the future, I’ll try to clearly express which project I’m talking about.  🙂



Current Listening:

  • Glasvegas – self-titled.  Hadn’t discovered this in time for my “Best of ’08” list, but it should probably be on it.
  • Extreme – Saudades de Rock (New record, as of 2008).  Haven’t fully absorbed this one yet, but I’ll keep you posted, I’m sure.
  • Bunch of Beatles…

Apparently Obama’s Responsible for Every Abortion Now?

Fair warning…I’m going to blindly rant, and I don’t mean some of it…so keep that in mind…and enjoy!


I’ve read in the news that anti-abortionists are now worried about “setbacks” because Obama’s in office.


My question is this…  Setbacks from WHAT?  What exactly did the eight years of a Republican “President,” several of which included a Republican-run Congress get you?  Did the Republican Party really go out of their way to pass new legislation?  Did they do anything to regulate abortion?  Did they determine if it’s a national issue or one that should be handled on the State level (as has long been the debate)?  Did they do…I don’t know…ANYTHING to help your cause?


Let’s face it folks, the Republicans have shown as much apathy to the abortion issue in their deeds as the Democrats have traditionally shown in their words.  The only difference is that the Republicans trot it out and pay it lip-service any time an election’s coming up.  If there were EVER a chance of abortion being outlawed, it was under Bush, and he didn’t do a THING to make it happen.


Don’t worry about Obama…worry about the fact that NO ONE in your government is ever going to put his career on the line to significantly address the issue…you need to learn to accept that.


…and let me just raise this question…


If we outlaw abortion — being that it’s “murder” and all — what do you suggest we do with the women who then illegally terminate their pregnancies?  It’s still going to happen.  Some will drink.  Some will pay for a back-alley coat hanger and vacuum cleaner job.  Some will down pill after pill until the kid gets flushed out somehow.  Some will just ask a skinhead to kick them in the stomach.  But there WILL still be women who terminate their pregnancies.  What do we do with them?  Are they to be arrested?  Do they get put on death row for murder?  Do they pay a fine?  …or are you going to stand by your trumpet-call of “They have to get themselves right with God” and just let them get away with, as you put it, “murder?”


Look…I’m pro-life.  But this issue is NEVER going to change, and that isn’t Obama’s fault.  It’s the fault of our society, it’s the fault of a fallen-world, and it’s the fault of people who just don’t realize that they can always just NOT have sex with someone — unless of course they’re raped, in which case you have no more right to force a baby into their body than the rapist did to force in his…well…let’s skip over that part.


I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to talk people out of abortions.  I’m just saying you need to figure out where to put the blame.  If you’re going to blame Obama (on roughly day THREE, no less)…then let’s also blame Bush, Clinton, Other Bush, Reagan…etc, etc, all the way back to the Founding Fathers.  And while we’re at it, we may as well blame God for giving us free-will in the first place — perhaps the BIGGEST “setback” of all being that so few of us choose to use our brains.


…and the kicker is…my argument doesn’t sound any crazier than yours, even though it’s full of just as many holes.