Uncollected Classics

As you’re all aware (unless you’re just a dude who stumbled upon my blog — in which case…RUN!) I’m a music freak.  I’ve played music longer than I haven’t.  I’ve been collecting CDs since I was like 13.  I’ve got a quite large collection (it’s over 1000, but I don’t know the exact figure).  As such, you’d expect to be able to find a few standards in amongst the rabble.  And yeah…there’s your “Tommy,” “Sgt. Pepper’s,” and “Live at Budokan.”  But I’m missing some rather shocking “masterworks” from some artists people expect me to have in spades.  Here’s a list of ten titles/artists missing from my collection, and why.

 

  1. Kiss – “Alive” – Never bought it…not even when I was into Kiss.  I remember going into the record store and making the conscious decision not to buy “Alive,” instead opting for “Alive II” because I knew more songs on it.  Then, after becoming a musician, I found out about the HUGE number of overdubs that took place on Kiss’s “Alive III” record, the fact that they often used uncredited studio musicians to play the parts of some of their best known songs (and Peter Criss will tell you to your face that he DID NOT play drums on the last record they did at all), and all the ways they rip people off in the pursuit of becoming the wealthy scumbags they are (I’m speaking specifically of Gene and Paul here, not the two guys they’re now touring with who aren’t Ace and Peter, but that ARE wearing their makeup)…I guess the magic was gone.  Once in a while, I’ll still hear a Kiss song on the radio and I won’t turn it off, but for the most part…listening to Kiss, to me, is like reading “A Million Little Pieces.”  Waste of time, since it’s all a lie in the first place.  So, yeah…never bought “Alive,” and at this point I’m even a little embarrassed that “Destroyer” is in my collection.
  2. Springsteen – “Born in the USA” – I’m a Springsteen fan.  Love him.  Not a big fan of the title track of the record, though.  I have all the other stuff on it that I want, so it’s not too big of a loss.  I’ll buy it someday, when it’s down to just that and the “E Street Shuffle” record missing from the collection.
  3. AC/DC – Anything – I have none.  I feel like I should at least have “Back in Black” or something…but I don’t.  I should say I had one or two of them on vinyl back in the day and just haven’t ever re-bought them.  But, at the same time, I know that if you’ve got one record (post Bon Scott’s death) you’ve pretty much got them all.  So a hits compilation will do, I think.  We actually kind of played some AC/DC in my high-school band (union jack — remember that, Marc?).  I know we attempted at least “Hell’s Bells” and I think we tried morphing it into “For Those About to Rock” at one point.  Might have done another one, too…but as the bass player/vocalist, I got bored of playing nothing but “A” and singing like my throat was made of gravel, so we stopped.  I guess I just never felt the need to get back into it.
  4. CSNY – “Deja Vu” – This is absolutely inconceivable to me…I’ll probably remedy this absence soon.
  5. Peter Frampton – “Frampton Comes Alive” – At one point, if you lived in the Suburbs, you were issued this record.  Somehow, I missed it.  I guess that by then Cheap Trick had come along, so I missed out on Frampton.  Saw him live once, though (in like ’92, maybe?).  Good show, if memory serves.
  6. Guns ‘N’ Roses – “Appetite for Destruction” – In truth, I don’t have ANY GNR.  But if I did, it’d probably be this one and the “Use You Illusion” records.  But, considering that I live in St. Louis and we’re STILL harassed by Riverport (or whatever they call the amphitheatre now) security every time we go to a show, thanks to Axl…I’ll probably never own any.  I’d hate to line that jackass’s pockets with anything other than poison.
  7. U-2 – “The Joshua Tree” – Never bothered.  Don’t know why.  I like U-2.  I like everything on the record.  I just never bought it.  Maybe someday, when U-2 releases their next smash-record that makes me want to get back into them.  (For the record, I own a couple of compilations and the last 2-3 studio records…so I have most of the good stuff, anyway.)
  8. Ozzy Osbourne – Anything, including Sabbath – I just hate the guy.  Can’t stand his voice.  Can’t stand his attitude.  Can’t stand his “duh, duh, duh” facade.  HATE HATE HATE his wife (I’m a Maiden fan, proud and true, and what she did to them put her on my “terminate on sight” list as a metal fan).  …and I’d call his kids drugged-out retards, but that’d be too big an insult to crackheads and retards…and I have SOME standards, after all.  Everything about Ozzy just makes me say, “No.”  I’ll never have any of it.
  9. Aerosmith – Anything – I feel like I should own some Aerosmith.  I like, if not love some of the stuff from their heyday…but every time I think of them I think of the “Get A Grip” record with its “Cryinamazacrazy” crap and I just feel like it’s not worth my time.  One day I’ll break down and buy some of the good stuff…but not today.  🙂
  10. Nirvana – “Nevermind” – Actually, the only Nirvana I have at all is a bootleg my brother gave me one Christmas (or was it my birthday?).  I got rid of the rest of it after I realized how big of a selfish, whiny idiot Kurt Cobain was.  Kinda regret that now.  I’ll probably pick up “Nevermind,” “In Utero,” and that “Unplugged” thing they did someday soon, just for kicks.  I loved ’em in junior high.  Used to play a bunch of their stuff in union jack (sorry to keep bringing up painful memories of bad covers, Marc).

So there’s the ten.  There’s more, but ten is a good stopping point.  Mostly, I just wanted to talk crap about Ozzy and Kiss, and I’ve done that.  So let’s move on to…

 

The George W. Bush Picture of the Day (23 days remaining in term):

“Mmm…cake!”

cake

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