Spoiler Alert

In recent weeks, I’ve kept finding myself wrapped up in the discussion of what does or does not constitute a “spoiler” on the Internet (or in real life).  For those not familiar with the phrase, a spoiler is essentially a piece of information about a work (usually of fiction) that gives away some part of that work to someone who has not yet read/watched it and thereby “spoils” it for them.  People take it to ridiculous levels…  I can understand how someone doesn’t want the end of a book or movie “spoiled” for them, but there are those who won’t watch a COMMERCIAL for a television program because they don’t want to have even one second of the show “spoiled” for them.  Uhh…sorry, dingus…that’s not a spoiler.  It’s a commercial.

 

There is an ongoing debate about how long a potential “spoiler” should stand before it can be mentioned without warning.  Some people consider anything a spoiler, regardless of time-expanse from the original release or airing of the work.  Some people feel (and I agree) that those who REALLY wanted to know have probably already seen or read the work in question, and therefore the world can move on with its life and mention spoilers fairly quickly after the release of a work.  My personal standard is that I’ll wait until a movie leaves the theatre, a book goes into paperback, or a TV show reaches the next episode. 

 

With that in mind, and because I’m a tremendous jerk…

 

Here is a list of several things that I officially declare NO LONGER COUNT AS SPOILERS.  So I’m not going to warn you to click away, because let’s face it…if you cared, you’d already know.  (Keep in mind that this list is nowhere NEAR comprehensive, and is just stuff off the top of my head.)

  • Rosebud was his sled.
  • Frodo throws the ring into the volcano then lives…then sails off on a boat that apparently represents death.
  • Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.
  • The planet in “Planet of the Apes” is Earth.
  • Ross and Rachel end up together in the end…which is stupid, btw.
  • Charlie dies in Season Three of LOST.
  • Batman catches the Joker (EVERY TIME).
  • Dante and Randall buy the Quik Stop.
  • There is no real ending to “The Catcher in the Rye,” but Holden seems pretty discontent.
  • Beth dies in “Little Women.”
  • The hypnotherapist kills Nicholas at the end of Dream Theater’s “Scenes from a Memory.”
  • House is responsible for Wilson’s girlfriend dying…then Wilson abandons House…then he comes back (I think…I missed a couple of episodes this season, so I’m not 100% on that).
  • The Sopranos just cuts to black at the end, proving that I was right all along…the show sucks.
  • He gets her combs and she sold her hair (“Gift of the Magi”).
  • Kristin Shepard shot JR.
  • The Rams lost.
  • They nuke “Cloverfield,” but there’s a hidden message in the credits that says, “It’s still alive.”  But they aren’t too likely to make a sequel…so it’s probably dead.
  • “Wolves.”  (Ten bucks to anyone who knows what that’s a reference to without Googling, and who isn’t my brother.)
  • Jesus gets nailed to a cross.
  • Joe Pesci dies in pretty much every movie he’s in…so pick one.
  • Harry Potter lives, but always carries a scar.
  • In “Rebecca,” Rebecca was cheating on him and he kills her then covers it up — but she also had cancer and sort of wanted him to kill her — he gets away with it and the house burns down, presumably killing Mrs Danvers.
  • George shoots Lenny.  (The movie version with Gary Sinise and John Malkovich is excellent, btw.)

…and that’s enough.  Feel free to add your own in the comments.  I’m sure I missed a LOT.  🙂

 

Current Watching:

  • The extra stuff on the LOST Season Four DVD.
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5 thoughts on “Spoiler Alert”

  1. It’s lame that I’m the first to comment on my own post, I know…but here are two more that made me laugh when I thought of them…

    1. Soylent Green is people.

    2. “To Serve Man” is a cookbook.

  2. so…
    not to be a nag, but you promised a Bush picture daily until he moves out of the White House – and i don’t see one yet.

    also, i thought of getting you a Christmas present and mailing it – but i don’t know what you might want. you may either give me an idea, or ignore my tidings of great joy.
    (my first thought was a handmade scarf. but when i made one for someone else, it did not turn out well…)

    i’m gonna shut up now and go sleep. (that sounds cruel addressed to an insomniac. my bad)

  3. The Bush thing begins when there are 30 days left and we’re at like 32 right now…so we’ll get there. Patience, friend. 🙂

    It’s the thought that counts, on the gift. I’m as touched by the gesture as if I’d actually gotten anything. Plus, I’m hard to buy for (I hear that a lot) because if I want something, I go out and get it…so no one really knows what I already have. Although, I did put a scarf on my list this year, oddly enough…but I’m like 99% sure Grandma’s getting me one, because there were only so many gifts on the list that she’d have any interest in getting me, and that was one of them. But, yeah…I just think it’s awesome that you thought of me. 🙂

    No worries on the sleep thing. I’m aware that it’s something that other people do sometimes.

  4. um… but i still expect a gift from you.
    i mean, it’s great about your Grandma and all, but my Grandma doesn’t have a clue – and i’m counting on you to make this “special season” worth living through.
    i want you to know – i’m depending on you.

    (these would make great song lyrics. hint hint *wink*)

    oy. i’m more tired than yesterday.
    why am i still typing?

  5. Dunno…but I enjoyed reading it! 🙂

    As I stated on Facebook, I do not have your address. I’d at least send a card or something if I did. I promise. I WOULD. (Still probably could, if you sent it to me on Facebook or something.)

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