I Don’t Resolve Anything!

New Year’s Eve…

 

I don’t do New Year’s.  I don’t go anywhere unless I’m playing — and then only under duress.  I plan on doing the same thing this New Year’s Eve that I do every New Year’s Eve.  I’m going to open a bottle of wine, press “record” in my studio, and pick up a guitar.  Hopefully, if all goes according to plan, I’ll be in bed by 11:30.  I usually like to miss the countdown.

 

I don’t really know what my problem with New Year’s is..I know I had a really bad one in high school once, but I seem to recall not liking it before that.  I think I don’t like the obligation of it all…the dressing up, the going out, the battling to survive among the amateur drinkers, the “what’s your resolution?” thing (which no one keeps anyway).  I just don’t dig it.  I could do without the whole thing.

 

So…have a happy one, I guess.  I’ll be treating it like any other day…as usual.

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The George W. Bush Picture of the Day (20 days remaining in term):

“Livin’ La Vida…what the fu…”

rickymartin

10 Things You Might Not Know About Alice Cooper

My brother will be bored by this one, since he already knows all of it…but I’ve been listening to Alice Cooper a lot this week, and it occurred to me that he’s a pretty interesting guy.  A lot of people only know that he’s the dude who bit the head off a chicken and drank the blood (not true, by the way) and that he always gets killed in his stage shows (usually true, but he’s not done it for a couple of tours). But there’s more to Alice than that…and here’s ten things you might not have known.

  1. He’s a Christian – Yeah.  I know.  Total reborn Christian.  He doesn’t talk about it a lot, saying that he’d rather people focus on Christ and that he’s just a rocker, not a philosopher…but he’s way into Jesus.  Makes sense…his dad was a minister, after all.  Even still…  Kinda puts the “freak” back in Jesus Freak, doesn’t it?
  2. When record executives first heard a tape of Alice’s hit “Only Women Bleed” (a song speaking out against abuse) they had no idea who recorded it.  One exec ventured a guess — James Taylor.
  3. Cooper’s stage shows since the early days have been morality plays.  Fans know this, but it’s often missed by laymen.  The character of Alice goes on an evil rampage throughout most of the show, eventually deserving punishment for his misdeeds.  He is then executed and is “reborn” (usually in a white tuxedo) into a hard-rocking, celebratory encore.  Ties in with the “Christian” thing pretty well, no?  It’s always been there, folks!
  4. He is an avid, celebrated, and highly awarded golfer.  Most people know this one by now…but I still have trouble with it somehow.  🙂
  5. He’s been married to the SAME WOMAN since 1976, which pretty much no one else in rock and roll can claim.  (Pete Townshend probably came the closest, but he got divorced a few years ago.)  His wife was a background dancer in his stage show when they met, is a minister’s daughter, and is pretty hot if you ask me.
  6. After his own battle with alcohol addiction, he has been a mentor to several other musicians who have tried to kick the habit.  He has been responsible for cleaning up more than one musician, such as Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine.
  7. He is a Republican.  Also shocking, considering the image he’s put out there over the years.  Actually, this isn’t 100% confirmed, but in 2004 he referred to the musicians supporting Kerry as “a bunch of treasonous morons” [sic] (later claiming that he was referring to their using their rock status to back ANY candidate not specifically Kerry — which I don’t really buy). Then this past year he referred to Sarah Palin as “a breath of fresh air” [Gigantic SIC with lipstick on it], but also teased support of the Democrats a few times (though not as solidly).  So…he’s probably a Republican.
  8. Groucho Marx was noted to be a fan of Alice’s, saying that he saw his stage shows as a revived form of vaudeville.
  9. In 1996, he sang the role of Herod in the London recording of Jesus Christ Superstar.
  10. His daughter, Calico, is in his stage show.  My brother told me that when he went to see Alice a couple of years ago, those around him were taking about her (not knowing she was Alice’s kid) saying that they “knew why he kept her around” and were betting he was “hitting that.”  Dave was trying to tell the guys that it was Alice’s daughter they were joking about, but they didn’t believe him…until Alice announced it from the stage at the end of the show.  (By all accounts, by the way, Alice has never cheated on his wife and still takes her out on regular dates when not touring.)

So there you go…there’s some stuff about Alice Cooper.  (Weird how you don’t even notice that he’s got a girl’s name anymore, isn’t it?)

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The George W. Bush Picture of the Day (21 days remaining in term):

“…and that’s when the election got creepy…”

bush-and-cindy

To be fair, it’s actually the big smile on McCain’s face that makes this funny to me…but whatever!

Time to Get Moving

Okay…so I accomplished nothing this week.  Week of Christmas.  I went out of my way to do nothing.

 

Next week, though, I plan to do a lot of stuff.  I don’t have to go in to work, but that doesn’t mean I have nothing to do.  In fact, I’m probably going to work harder than if I were at work.  🙂

 

Here’s the list:

  • Clean out pile of crap in the entryway to the barroom in the basement.
  • Paint floor-runner upstairs.
  • Touch-up rough spots on wall paint.
  • Strip wallpaper into the kitchen.
  • Mud-over inevitable torn spots in drywall from stripping wallpaper.
  • Tidy up master bedroom.
  • Finally get rid of all that carpeting that’s been sitting around.
  • Begin cleaning out the spare (aka “misc crap”) room.

…and then go back to work.  There’s some other stuff in there, too.  I’ve got a band practice Tuesday, late Christmas with my uncle and Grandma on Jan. 2…and I’d like to get some new demos recorded, time permitting…but otherwise, it’s cleaning, painting, and working.  I may even move around some stuff in my basement, which I’ve been meaning to do for months.  But I’ve got my hands pretty full…and that may have to wait until Martin Luther King Day (three day weekend for me).

 

So…there’s your look into my life for the day…

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And here is your George W. Bush Picture of the Day (22 days remaining in term):

I’ve seen this one online a few times with the caption beneath the photo.  I didn’t come up with that myself, but I have no idea who to credit.

corn

“There is something wrong…with this banana.”

Uncollected Classics

As you’re all aware (unless you’re just a dude who stumbled upon my blog — in which case…RUN!) I’m a music freak.  I’ve played music longer than I haven’t.  I’ve been collecting CDs since I was like 13.  I’ve got a quite large collection (it’s over 1000, but I don’t know the exact figure).  As such, you’d expect to be able to find a few standards in amongst the rabble.  And yeah…there’s your “Tommy,” “Sgt. Pepper’s,” and “Live at Budokan.”  But I’m missing some rather shocking “masterworks” from some artists people expect me to have in spades.  Here’s a list of ten titles/artists missing from my collection, and why.

 

  1. Kiss – “Alive” – Never bought it…not even when I was into Kiss.  I remember going into the record store and making the conscious decision not to buy “Alive,” instead opting for “Alive II” because I knew more songs on it.  Then, after becoming a musician, I found out about the HUGE number of overdubs that took place on Kiss’s “Alive III” record, the fact that they often used uncredited studio musicians to play the parts of some of their best known songs (and Peter Criss will tell you to your face that he DID NOT play drums on the last record they did at all), and all the ways they rip people off in the pursuit of becoming the wealthy scumbags they are (I’m speaking specifically of Gene and Paul here, not the two guys they’re now touring with who aren’t Ace and Peter, but that ARE wearing their makeup)…I guess the magic was gone.  Once in a while, I’ll still hear a Kiss song on the radio and I won’t turn it off, but for the most part…listening to Kiss, to me, is like reading “A Million Little Pieces.”  Waste of time, since it’s all a lie in the first place.  So, yeah…never bought “Alive,” and at this point I’m even a little embarrassed that “Destroyer” is in my collection.
  2. Springsteen – “Born in the USA” – I’m a Springsteen fan.  Love him.  Not a big fan of the title track of the record, though.  I have all the other stuff on it that I want, so it’s not too big of a loss.  I’ll buy it someday, when it’s down to just that and the “E Street Shuffle” record missing from the collection.
  3. AC/DC – Anything – I have none.  I feel like I should at least have “Back in Black” or something…but I don’t.  I should say I had one or two of them on vinyl back in the day and just haven’t ever re-bought them.  But, at the same time, I know that if you’ve got one record (post Bon Scott’s death) you’ve pretty much got them all.  So a hits compilation will do, I think.  We actually kind of played some AC/DC in my high-school band (union jack — remember that, Marc?).  I know we attempted at least “Hell’s Bells” and I think we tried morphing it into “For Those About to Rock” at one point.  Might have done another one, too…but as the bass player/vocalist, I got bored of playing nothing but “A” and singing like my throat was made of gravel, so we stopped.  I guess I just never felt the need to get back into it.
  4. CSNY – “Deja Vu” – This is absolutely inconceivable to me…I’ll probably remedy this absence soon.
  5. Peter Frampton – “Frampton Comes Alive” – At one point, if you lived in the Suburbs, you were issued this record.  Somehow, I missed it.  I guess that by then Cheap Trick had come along, so I missed out on Frampton.  Saw him live once, though (in like ’92, maybe?).  Good show, if memory serves.
  6. Guns ‘N’ Roses – “Appetite for Destruction” – In truth, I don’t have ANY GNR.  But if I did, it’d probably be this one and the “Use You Illusion” records.  But, considering that I live in St. Louis and we’re STILL harassed by Riverport (or whatever they call the amphitheatre now) security every time we go to a show, thanks to Axl…I’ll probably never own any.  I’d hate to line that jackass’s pockets with anything other than poison.
  7. U-2 – “The Joshua Tree” – Never bothered.  Don’t know why.  I like U-2.  I like everything on the record.  I just never bought it.  Maybe someday, when U-2 releases their next smash-record that makes me want to get back into them.  (For the record, I own a couple of compilations and the last 2-3 studio records…so I have most of the good stuff, anyway.)
  8. Ozzy Osbourne – Anything, including Sabbath – I just hate the guy.  Can’t stand his voice.  Can’t stand his attitude.  Can’t stand his “duh, duh, duh” facade.  HATE HATE HATE his wife (I’m a Maiden fan, proud and true, and what she did to them put her on my “terminate on sight” list as a metal fan).  …and I’d call his kids drugged-out retards, but that’d be too big an insult to crackheads and retards…and I have SOME standards, after all.  Everything about Ozzy just makes me say, “No.”  I’ll never have any of it.
  9. Aerosmith – Anything – I feel like I should own some Aerosmith.  I like, if not love some of the stuff from their heyday…but every time I think of them I think of the “Get A Grip” record with its “Cryinamazacrazy” crap and I just feel like it’s not worth my time.  One day I’ll break down and buy some of the good stuff…but not today.  🙂
  10. Nirvana – “Nevermind” – Actually, the only Nirvana I have at all is a bootleg my brother gave me one Christmas (or was it my birthday?).  I got rid of the rest of it after I realized how big of a selfish, whiny idiot Kurt Cobain was.  Kinda regret that now.  I’ll probably pick up “Nevermind,” “In Utero,” and that “Unplugged” thing they did someday soon, just for kicks.  I loved ’em in junior high.  Used to play a bunch of their stuff in union jack (sorry to keep bringing up painful memories of bad covers, Marc).

So there’s the ten.  There’s more, but ten is a good stopping point.  Mostly, I just wanted to talk crap about Ozzy and Kiss, and I’ve done that.  So let’s move on to…

 

The George W. Bush Picture of the Day (23 days remaining in term):

“Mmm…cake!”

cake

Things I Did Today

Things I’ve Ingested Today (in order):

  • Muscacholli
  • 23 Candy Canes
  • Two Cups of Coffee and one cup of tea
  • White Castles and Cheese Fries
  • Tums

Things I’ve Watched Today:

  • A couple episodes of “Everybody Loves Raymond”
  • A couple episodes of “The Simpsons”
  • “The Dark Knight”
  • “A Colbert Christmas”
  • A couple episodes of “Frasier”
  • A couple episodes of “Friends”
  • …and I’m finishing with some more “Simpsons.”

Websites I’ve Visited Today:

  • Facebook
  • Lostpedia
  • My e-mail
  • The Keurig Coffee People
  • Armor Games
  • Pastel Games
  • Kohl’s
  • Barnes and Noble

Regrets:

  • None.

 

…and here is your George W. Bush Picture of the Day (24 days remaining in term):
I simply call this one “Derp!”

derp

What I Got…

Here’s a list of stuff I got for Christmas:

  • Dayna gave me a coffee sampler on Monday, which was especially nice because I didn’t get her anything.  Super sorry, Dayna.
  • The new Futurama movie (Bender’s Game).
  • Roddy Doyle’s “Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha” — which I didn’t ask for, but was the only Roddy Doyle book my brother could find.  So far, it’s pretty good.
  • Alice Cooper’s “Along Came a Spider” (Which astute readers will note was mentioned in my “Best of 08” post.  I’ve got a Rhapsody subscription, so I’d already heard it but hadn’t bought it.)
  • Metallica’s “Ride the Lightening” which I’ve just never bought on CD for some reason.
  • The Garfield Minus Garfield book.
  • The Mel Brooks boxed set.  (So I guess my dad got a gift too, since he now is going to have possession of my other copy of “To Be or Not to Be.”)
  • A lamp for my living-room.
  • $40.
  • A magazine detailing Barack Obama’s road to the White House.  (I’m the kind of guy who thinks that stuff’s cool.)
  • The Who “Live at Kilburn.”
  • “Falling Man” by Don DeLillo.
  • The Dark Knight.
  • Simpsons Season 7 (I’m slowly, slowly, slowly getting all of them, holiday to holiday).
  • A gift card to Kohl’s.
  • …and Susan’s mom gave me a bottle of wine today, which I’m counting as a gift.  🙂  (It’s not bad…gets better upon refilling the glass.  Heh.)

…don’t think I missed anything.  Apologies to anyone who does not see their gift mentioned.  We’re doing Christmas with my uncle and grandma on Jan. 2…so if there’s anything awesome that I get then, I’ll list it, too.

 

Feel free to tell me what you got in the comments, if you’re feeling braggy.

 

George W. Bush Picture of the Day (25 days remaining in term):

I like to call this one, “A Major Step Forward in Race Relations”

bald03

 

Current Reading:

  • That Roddy Doyle book…duh!

Merry Christmas

As I’m writing this it’s still Christmas Eve (but it’ll go up after midnight, officially on Christmas Day).  It was a few years ago that my friend (and bass player in the band Potter’s House) Paul Hollis died of Hodgkin’s Disease.  I still miss him.  I think about him every Christmas Eve and play the Potter’s House CD that I have, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned here before.  So this is my yearly tribute to him.  — Paul, if you get to read blogs in Heaven, I still love you, brother.  Your bass tone’s still my favorite I’ve ever heard and I’m still trying to sound like you did.  Merry Christmas, man.

 

But, enough of the maudlin stuff.  Don’t wanna bum anyone out for Christmas.  (For the record, it doesn’t make me sad to think about it.  It’s actually kind of comforting.  Don’t know why.)

 

Since this is officially going up on Christmas Day, I want to wish all of you a very merry Christmas and I hope you get all of the stuff you asked for…y’know…unless you’re Jewish or Muslim or something…then I hope you get stuff on whenever you’re supposed to.  🙂

 

In tribute to the holiday, I’d like to share with you a couple of cell-phone snapshots of something I drew on the office whiteboard.  My whiteboard art skills are almost above reproach.  🙂

 

So…here’s the office Christmas scene:

 1219081550

I’m particularly proud of the manger scene, so here’s that on its own:

1219081550a

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And Here’s your George W. Bush Picture of the Day (26 days remaining in term):

 

This one’s been all over the Internet, and it’s more of a Thanksgiving thing…but it’s as close as I could get to a funny Christmas picture…

turkey