Kids…

My friend Angela inspired me to write this, via Facebook.

 

Some of you know this, and some don’t.  I don’t like kids.  None of them.  Not a one.

 

It’s nothing personal.  They’re just very small and have absolutely no control over their behaviour.  Sooner or later, they’ll produce a sound or smell that I personally find offensive, and they’ll make me look like the bad-guy for having pointed it out.  I can do without all of that.  But, what’s worse is the ones who’re old enough that they SHOULD be able to control themselves…yet they don’t.  Some of them just have crappy parents…but some of them are already crappy people at the age of six.

 

Now…there’s a cut-off.  I can deal with a kid once it’s somewhere in the area of 8-10.  Then you can kind of reason with them, and they at least know when to back down…then they hit like 12 or 13 and there’s all these hormones involved…and they should be shot into space.  (You thought I was just going to leave that at “shot,” didn’t you?)

 

Then they hit about 16-18 and I’m fine with them from there on out…

 

…but any kid from 0-8, then 13-15, I can do without…

 

So, dear friends of mine (if any)…  Do me a favor.  Stop breeding.  Especially those of you who’ve been married for less than a year–which is another blog post altogether.

 

…so…yeah…

 

Current Listening:

  • The Misfits…duh.  It’s Halloween.  Spooooooooky!!!
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4 thoughts on “Kids…”

  1. Heh! It’s all becoming clearer now…

    As a parent, I should be offended but really I’m not. I’ve never felt the same way, not even a little bit. All my life, I’ve been surrounded by kids (my mom ran an inhome daycare) and something in me always liked it and always wanted kids of my own.

    At some point in the past I would have assumed everyone felt this way about kids and would have thought you had something wrong with you. But I know better now.

    I think you’re missing out on a lot of good fun stuff that you can learn from kids during those ages, but as long as you don’t really shoot some kids into space, it won’t hurt me.

  2. Glad I inspired you to get that out into public. Unfortunately, my age ranges are far different, as far as which levels of child development are less grotesque.

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