My Breaking Point

I think I get in the most trouble when I am asked to do things that other people think are small things. I can deal with years upon years of being screwed out of getting properly paid for the work that I do. I can cope with not being respected and being dismissed (as long as other people know the one doing the dismissing is the jerk). I can live with constructive criticism…

But when someone asks me to stop listening to music in the office, I get pissed off and crank up some Opeth or Misfits. When someone tells me I need a haircut–even if it’s true–I consider not only not cutting it, but not WASHING it. When someone criticises my wardrobe, I look through it to find the most bizarre, grotesque thing in my collection and go out of my way to wear it in front of them. When I’m asked to start showing up five minutes earlier, you can be guaranteed that I’ll roll in 20 minutes late. When I’m asked to clean something up (with the implication or direct statement that it is to be done THAT DAY), it’ll sit there for a week or longer.

For some reason, it’s that kind of stuff that sets me off on a tear. Especially if it was something I was going to do anyway. Like if my boss were to tell me that when the semester starts, I should probably wear sport-coats and suits around the office, I’d argue with him, even though I plan on doing it anyway. I guess it’s the fact that by telling me to do something–even if it’s completely reasonable–the person has taken away my WILL to do that thing, and made it an ORDER.

I’m not good with being bossed around on arbitrary things. If it’s a work-task, that’s another story. If my boss says, “I need the budget report within the next hour” or “You need to write up a report on the progress of the project you’re working on” I’ll get right on it. No problem. It’s something that NEEDS to be done. If, however, one of the guys in Blue Tattoo were to say to me, “You should really polish your guitar.” I’m going to roll it around in mud. I mean…who cares if a guitar has fingerprints on it? Or I will get into SCREAMING matches about what the end of a movie was trying to say and lose friends over it, whereas if someone tells me they don’t believe in God, I’ll pretty much accept that as just being a part of who they are. (Though in the latter example, I do hope people change their minds over time.)

It’s that kind of thing that makes me resign from jobs, quit bands, give up on projects, disassociate myself from people, and generally just have a bad time…no idea why. For some reason, the big things don’t get to me…just the little ones.

Just seems like people would benefit from knowing that about me, is all…

Current Listening:

  • Gob Iron – “Death Songs for the Living” – I might be slightly off on that title, I’m not sure. Anyway…it’s a side project Jay Farrar of Uncle Tupelo/Son Volt has going. Really earthy and acousticy. I like it a lot. Pretty much anything Farrar’s done, I’ve enjoyed–except for his Son Volt “reunion” where he’s not working with the original members of the band, but is using the name. Point #1, that’s kind of misleading. Point #2, SON VOLT SHOULD NOT USE TRUMPETS. …but Gob Iron’s good.